a week on..

last week was unforgettable, truly experential.
i would never forget the fear as i sat in my uncle's car on the way in last wed.
the fear that i cant take what i was about to see.
there was an urge to msg you. but i didnt want you to feel burdened like how i was by another.

upon arrival, i almost couldnt recognise my 2nd home.
in a span of a few hours, tents were set up outside the house;
inside, walls were stripped bare of any photos and furnitures shifted / removed.
then came the moment i feared most; walking to the back of all the drapes and all.
held it all back, couldnt bring my gaze to his face and walked away.
over the next few days, i remember myself taking as many glances at him as possible.
folded ingots for the afternoon and sat uncle's car out.

& it was back in again on thu after lesson and collecting my specs.
was folding non-stop all day and night since the only cousins there were the young ones.
searched in vain of a suitable place to sleep while waiting for aunt to come back from the hotel room they've booked.
walked to the hotel at 3am and finally had some shuteye till 8plus.

friday was the day all the rituals were held; from 3-11+pm
cousins were in full strength and was divided into the china and jap gymnastics team (HA)
the 5 young ones almost drove me crazy during the prayers and all.
but then again, they probably didnt have a clue wad was going on.
by 12am, a bath was all everyone wanted. took queue numbers and headed to the hotel again.
this time, 5rooms were booked by us; and i bunked in w flo&family while the guys were in another room.
listened to aunt's recollection of his peaceful final moments and felt really comforted.
but still had trouble sleeping cos i realised im sleeping in front of a frigging mirror.
nevertheless, had a nice 6hours of sleep.

woke up to the alarm of fan&uncle's hp and headed back home to prepare for the moment i dread most. we really shouldve knocked on the guys' room door cos apparently they overslept. only manage to contact someone in that room after calling 3 handphones.
prayers and all was next and before long the shutting of the lid. vision blurred with tears before long. then came the moment to send him off. and it was then i understood why daughters' veil has an extra piece of cloth; to cover their red and swollen eyes. however, the moment was still relatively light as we all know in our hearts that he'd left peacefully and w/o pain. walked behind dad and uncles for like 1plus km before boarding one of the two buses booked.

i tink i never did understand the meaning of the word closure till that day. seeing it placed nicely at the bottom of it all, peace and comfort filled me. there isnt an urge to cry because i've long got over the stage of bu she de . tsk, but i dun understand why they dont let us see how they lower it.

headed back home for the last round of rituals and washed up. was seeing the young ones bullying the guys as they pile themselves on top of them. thought to myself that how nice it would be if all the cousins and families gather like this more often, but not for this kinda event. and it was lucky the laughter and screams of the young ones lightened up the overall atmosphere for the last few days, despite feeling irritated by it sometimes. headed back to singapore without my chendol and mee (TSKKKKKKKKK).

honestly, i haven got a single of recollection of him in my younger days. lucky flo still had memories of him feeding her porridge. the only memory i have of him when he was well was him sitting on his bike, with the hat on his head and heading out to buy breakfast (prata & nasi) for us whenever we stayed over. and picking veggie / fruits he'd grown in the patch infront of the house with his hat on his shiny bald head. the rest of the memories are of those days grandma and him stayed over at our house. and how sweet he'd always smile when a young cousin greeted him, but never when taking photos.

ok, the following post was inspired / triggered by:
- yee's post ( i duno y, seriously. random i suppose)
- rihanna's take a bow starting to play ( the starting is so damnnnnnnnnnnnn nice and the chorus was playing in my mind last nite while we walk- ishallgettothatlater!)

ok.
since july started, (jul 07 flashed by. ok stop that flashback.)
i did the follow:

1) went ikea (0207) !!
with: fee & jasmine

HIGHLIGHTS:
- 'joke' that yishun is nearer to tampines than it is to alexandra (which unfortunately, turned out to be true, if not it would be the joke of the week)
- $9.90 3/4length (not full) mirror
- sheltering my hotdog frm the drizzle









with: THE family

HIGHLIGHTS:
- supper of fried kway tiao (yum), carrot cake (ew) & satay (YUM)
- waking up at 0630 to pick durians
- NOT GETTING HIT BY ANY!!